Chug
by yetti
Summary: What happens when the Doctor and Rose get drunk? Will they declare they love for each other? Read and reivew! Please! The baby's now up!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – New story, with a twist. Doctor Who like you've never seen before.**

The Doctor. He has an unusual name, yet it makes sense. A week with him and it's all your saying.

"Doctor!" Rose rounded the corner to find him looking at a brown puddle on the floor. She paused and placed her hands on her hips, "Are you drunk?"

"No…" He rubbed his hand over the puddle, and then pouted. "I spilt it!"

"You are!" A roar came from around the corner she'd just come from.

The Doctor giggled, "It's just so easy."

"You idiot! I have what's-his-face from the pub down the road – you know the one; large, stupid and green – chasing me because you left without paying." She nudged the Doctor as he slumped across the puddle, slurping up its remnants.

"Wha-at?" The Doctor looked up in drunken annoyance.

Rose lifted him up, "He-eere we go."

What's-his-face-from-down-the-pub was gaining on them, which seemed impossible because his three ton body weight survived on only two feet. Then again, Rose had to support the Doctor, when he was drunk _and_ singing.

"One, two three, four five – Once I caught a fish alive – Six, seven, eight, nine, ten – then I put him back again – blurgh – Why did… put him back – Because he was dead! Ha!"

Rose really wanted to laugh at him, but with What's-his-face-from-down-the-pub close to biting her head off, she had more important things to do.

"Come back here, you munchkin!" He yelled, trying to sound threatening, but it had no effect on Rose. The inhabitants of Chug (known as Chugged) considered pet-names like Munchkin or Sweetheart to be an insult.

"Don't you call Rose a munchkin," the Doctor said this as he stopped dead and span round to face off What's-his-f… "She's my munchkin!" He glanced at the green giant in front of him, and looked stunned, "You're big!"

Rose smiled. The Doctor had a way to make her feel great without even trying, but in this case she wasn't sure whether it was an insult, a compliment, or simply the alcohol. Any way, it still meant he was standing up for her.

"Come on, you stupid drunk, he'll kill you!" Rose tugged at his arm.

The Doctor saw the look on the Chugged's face and sensed she was right. He widened his eyes and attempted to rush off, but soon tripped over a conveniently placed plant pot.

Rose rolled her eyes and giggled wildly. When the Doctor was drunk, it kind of rubbed off on her.

"Get up, you clumsy oaf! Come on." In between short bursts of laughter, she managed to grab the Doctor and get through a door to the Chug equivalent of a fire escape.

Rose looked over to the Doctor as they stood out of breath at the bottom.

"You git!"

* * *

"There she is!" The Doctor waved to the Tardis in his drunken state.

At Chug the ale was so strong that this would last at least three whole days, so as soon as the Doctor managed to get the key into the keyhole Rose decided to get drunk as well. It would be more fun that way.

Five days later they were both exhausted, and on top of each other. To cut it short, they'd both collapsed, conveniently one beneath the other.

Rose was still mildly awake, so when she heard the Doctor snoring she thought she ought to take him to his room. He was heavier than she'd thought.

"Get out of my way!" she slurred at the Tardis' console.

The Doctor opened one eye while still being dragged along by Rose. She got about 2 feet before falling onto him in a giggling fit.

"Hey." Rose jumped as the Doctor hugged her.

"Hey," she laughed, "What are you doing?"

"I want to ask you something." Without waiting for an answer, he continued, "Do you love me?"

Rose was immediately silent, and as the Doctor turned her over he saw she was asleep, and doubted she'd heard what he asked. He didn't know whether to be angry that the time he finally got up the nerve to ask her, she'd fainted, or relieved because she hadn't heard him actually ask it.

He poked her in the rib, "Rose?"

She groaned.

"Did you hear me?"

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "No. What did you say?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

Before he had the chance to say anything else she was snoring, and he smiled, before giving her a peck on the cheek.

* * *

It wasn't easy being the Doctor. He rarely slept, had constant work to do, and when he decided to get drunk and have five days off, he had even less sleep, and even more work to do. Definitely not easy.

As Rose came out of her bedroom to the console room, she massaged her head and walked over to where the Doctor was.

"Hey, what 'cha doin'?" He sang.

How he managed to be happy after a hangover this bad she had no idea.

"Trying to stay alive," she replied.

"Oh, yeah, you humans get really bad hangover's, don't you," he stood up and walked over to her. It astounded him how easy it was for her to look beautiful, even with a massive hangover and hair all over the place. "Unlucky."

As he turned back to the Tardis, Rose bit her lip, and asked, "Hey, there's something I need to know."

He span back around and gave her a hug. "What?"

Her lip wavered, "Did we… do anything last night."

The Doctor, still holding her arms, pulled away and gave her a questioning look, "What type of anything?"

"You know," she squirmed, "Did we… sleep together?"

The Doctor raised his eyebrows and let go of her. "Why? You don't think we did, do you?"

"Um, it's either that or I had a rather saucy dream…" she stretched, "And I'm hoping the dream." She paused. "Why would I even dream that?"  
The Doctor could barely contain his pleasure, so he hid it in humour. "It's 'cause you lo-ove me," he sang, "You lo-ove me!"

He danced off to his bedroom, still singing, leaving Rose alone rubbing her legs. He had no idea that she did.

**The next chapter should be posted soon. Please read and review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Here's the second chapter. This is where the real twist is.**

"The beer from Chug is the best! And, it has an extremely ironic name," Rose said, while entering the Doctor's room. "What's the matter?"

"Look, I want to get this out in the open while neither of us are drunk, so here it goes." The Doctor was half muttering and half yelling, "I... love... you. I love you."

Rose's eyes flickered in and out of consciousness, and she fell to the floor.

The Doctor slumped his shoulders and groaned. Once again his up front method failed and he was left with a practically dead Rose. He got off his bed and grabbed Rose, before easily picking her up and carrying her to it. It took him ages to wake her up, and when he thought he'd finally give in, she woke up by herself.

"You love me," she smiled, while staring deep into the Doctor's eyes.

"Yeah." He leant in closer. "Do you love me?"

Rose's teasing silence seemed to last forever, before she finally announced, "Always."

They kissed passionately, and Rose soon found herself in an awkward position as he moved down to her neck. She had a rather large love bite.

"What's this?"

"A guy at one of the pubs I was looking for you in... well, he ended up grabbing me on the cough bottom and giving me this."

The Doctor stood up in rage. "How dare he! You – a remotely innocent girl – being harassed by..." he shuddered.

"Calm down. I soon scared him off."

"How did you do that? Show him ya granny bra?"

"No," she said, ignoring his granny-bra comment, "I told him I was pregnant."

The Doctor smiled. The thought of her having _his_ baby sent shivers down his spine.

He lay back down next to her. "This baby..."

Rose nodded. "Mmm."

"It was mine, right?"

"Of course."

And you were completely happy to have it?"

"Definitely." She smiled. She liked where this was going.

"So..." He rolled on top of her.

She smiled, and then answered him, "Yes."

That night they made adoring love to each other, and Rose would have been surprised if she knew what was to come next.

* * *

The Doctor opened his eyes. He felt warm. Thinking back to what his dreams had been about, he remembered one particularly good one about him and Rose. 

Suddenly, someone fidgeted under his arm, and he recalled he previous evening. The dream had happened.

Rose, the one under his arm, had the same mixture of happiness and disbelief. She pushed her way from beneath the covers, and rubbed her nose against his.

"Hello."

"Hi."

"You love me."

"I do."

Rose giggled in relief. "I love you."

The Doctor ran his hand through her hair, thinking about their love. He sat up suddenly, remembering what would happen when humans and time-lords had... intercourse.

"Um..." Before he could continue, Rose was sitting up with him.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I just remembered time-lord sex-ed class. My... little fellas are rather strong swimmers, and..." he winced as Rose got the picture.

"So... I'm most likely gonna be pregnant?"

"Actually, you most likely already are."

Rose was out of bed pacing the room in seconds. "What are we gonna do? What am I gonna tell my mum?"

The Doctor sighed and stood up to calm her down. Him being completely nude probably helped.

"We'll get through this. There's always the chance you're not going to get pregnant."

Calming down slightly, she asked, "And what are the chances?"

The Doctor bit his lip nervously, "98..."

"Really?"

"...that you will get pregnant."

Rose sighed, confused. She snuggled up to him and allowed him to wrap his arms around her.

"What are we gonna do with a baby?"

* * *

The stick covered in urine was passed out from underneath the bathroom stall. The Doctor reluctantly took it and placed it on the side next to the sink, before quickly washing his hands. 

"Right," Rose said, walking out of the stall, "This is gonna be the longest minute of my life."

"Actually, it's three minutes." The Doctor produced the box it had been in.

"Even better."

Five seconds passed, and Rose anxiously clung to the Doctor's hands.

"Do you want a baby?"

The Doctor pondered over the question. "Well, I really do. All my life I've wished for children." Catching the look on Rose's face, he added, "But if you're not ready I'll wait."

Rose grinned, "That means a lot to me, but if I'm pregnant, I'll have the baby for you."

The Doctor squeezed her hand.

One minute was left when they next looked at their timer.

Rose had been expecting an hour.

50 seconds.

All they could think about was the life-changing answer this wee covered stalf held.

30 seconds.

The Doctor breathed heavily repeatedly, until he was sure he was hyperventilating.

20 seconds.

Rose almost collapsed with the time it felt like it was taking.

10 seconds.

They clung to each other.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

As the timer beeped, the Doctor said, "I'll look if you want?"

"Yes, please."

He picked up the coloured paper to find out what was what. After a few very long moments of figuring this out, he looked up at Rose.

"It's negative."

**Hey... bet 'cha didn't expect that. Please review. Did you think it was a good ending? Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Argh. Poor doctor… another twist coming up.**

"It's negative? Really?" Rose relaxed. "Thank God! Maybe your little fellas aren't that strong at swimmin', sweetie!"

The Doctor frowned. "You're really not upset? It didn't bring out your true feelings?"

Rose stopped mid-victory dance, than turned to the Doctor suspiciously, "What did you do?"

"Well, you know when we watched that Friends episode where Rachel found out she was pregnant?" He caught Rose's look, and quickly added, "Which was a stupid show that we're never watching again."

Rose raised her eyebrows, and then nodded.

"Well, when Phoebe… I mean, that girl with blonde hair and nice boo…"

Rose interrupted him, "Yes, I know."

"When she pretends Rachel's pregnancy test is negative so that she knows how she actually feels about the baby… then tells her the truth…" He grinned weakly, "Well, I was kinda hoping that it would work the same with you!"

Rose opened her mouth and yelled, "You idiot!" She looked at her belly. "You let me dance around when I was pregnant?! You are such a…" She growled, and a second later she was in tears.

"Warning," the Doctor said with his weeping lover in his arms, "Time-Lord mood swings are a bitch."

* * *

"Right, we need a nappy." Rose announced.

"Just one? I think we're gonna need a whole bunch!" The Doctor looked over at his pregnant wife.

"You said Time-Lord babies only need one." Rose waddled over to him.

"Oh, sweetie," The Doctor walked over to her and gave her a hug, "You're so gullible."

She punched him in the arm, and then immediately apologised. As she headed towards the Tardis door, she muttered, "Damn mood swings," and threw a handbag at him.

* * *

"This one's nice." The Doctor held a sweet pair of dungarees up with a picture of a blue cow on the front.

"And what if it's a girl? What do you plan on having her wear? A bin bag?" Rose picked up a pick dress, "How about this?"

The Doctor shrugged and suggested they spilt up and he went for a coffee. Rose nodded happily. 'This means I can buy anything I like', she thought, 'Mwah-ha-ha!'

Five hours later and the Doctor was still having the coffee, only it was his tenth one, and he was getting slightly wound up.

"Java, java, java, java…" he jumbled up his words and rocked back and forth on his chair.

"Rose! Where you been?" Finally Rose entered through the glass doors and smiled at him.

"Oh, well I've been here for half an hour, but I've been watching you from outside." She laughed. "You're such a Muppet!"

The Doctor looked hurt, which was a hard task to pull off when you're as hyper as he was.

"Soooo… what 'cha bought?" The Doctor began to rummage through the numerous bags of bay clothes. He pulled out a raunchy underwear set and said, "Ooh, these'll fit the baby nicely."

Rose snatched them from him and stuffed them back in the bag, checking to see if anyone had seen them.

"That is," The Doctor sat back in his chair, adding to his previous comment, "Only if it's a boy."

"What are these?" The Doctor, all knowing and intelligent, whipped out a box of condoms, then realised what they were and looked hurt. "You expect me to use these? Human piece of shi…"

Rose slammed her hand over his mouth and grabbed the box. She gestured frantically to the door and they spotted her mother with one of her BINGO buddies, Janet.

"Shhh." The Doctor was still high on caffeine and laughed loudly.

Before Rose could shut him up, her mother and friend waved and wandered over.

"Hello, dear!" She looked her up and down, but Rose pushed her off and tugged at her jumper trying to cover the bump. "How are you?"

Janet had a dumb smile spread across her face. Rose knew she could tell if a woman was pregnant or not before a pregnancy test could, so she attempted to shake her off, but it was too late.

"Oooh, looks like somebody has a little darling on their way!" She prodded her belly playfully, then added, "And it looks like it's taking its effect. Look at this belly!"

Jackie, Rose's mum, opened her mouth, pushed Janet off to buy coffee, and desperately clawed at Rose's jumper.

"You are pregnant! If it's green I'm gonna bloody kill this Doctor of yours!" She folded her arms and questioned, as though it were casual, "Who's the father?"

Rose bit her lip and said, "I don't know."

"Really, Rose, you're such a tart!"

"I didn't mean it that way, I just…"

This time, the Doctor saved her, "It's mine." Or, at least, she hoped it would help.

People think a volcano is hot; they should have seen the look on Jackie's face when she heard this.

**Sorry about the short chapter, but I hope it's enough to keep the savage head-biting down.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - I see loads of people have been wondering what Jackie's reaction was, so here it is.**

"It's yours? What?!" Her head blew up to at least twice its original size.

The Doctor, who'd thought he'd saved the day, regretted saying anything. He could have said 'hi' and she'd have blown over the top.

"And you..." she turned back to Rose, "You let him. Didn't you even think to use a condom?"

"Well..." the Doctor began, then saw her head again and added, "Ma'am. It wouldn't have made a difference; Time-Lords have strong swimmers."

"Not helping!" Rose spoke to him from behind her coffee.

"I am extremely hyperactive. I'm doing the best I can!" To add to the effect of this sentence, his eye twitched randomly.

"Shut up whispering! I..." She stopped her ranting suddenly, and then smiled as the Doctor pulled the sonic screwdriver from beside her head.

"What did you do?" Rose muttered.

The Doctor produced the device, so that Rose could see it wasn't actually a sonic screwdriver. "It's a sonic mood-changer."

Rose snatched it off him and admired it, adding "I'm keeping this!"

The Doctor frowned, then attempted to get it back, but couldn't get there on time because she moved them into her handbag. This playful snatch turned quickly into a tickling fight that involved a feather?

Before this could continue, Rose caught sight of Janet heading back over with coffees and biscuits, so they legged it.

Halfway out, Rose giggled, then gasped as a searing pain shot through her belly.

"What is it?" The Doctor was immediately protective, and picked up his wife.

"The baby? What's happening?" Rose clutched the bump and cried. "Don't let this baby die, Doctor!"

As if on cue, he got a proper hold on her and ran along the street to the Tardis. He found it difficult to open the door with Rose in his arms, but he never set her down once.

"Doctor!" Rose screamed, "Quickly!"

They hared around to get to the sick bay, and when they arrived, Rose was in hysterics.

"If this baby dies, I'm blaming you!" The Doctor knew her mood-swings were still in check when she then kissed him and said, "I love you."

He lay her down on one of the beds and walked to a stool that held sorts of instruments that may help. He spent only a few moments to decide what to do, and headed back over to Rose carrying a pen like device.

"Ok, sweetie, I need you to stay still while I take a look at the baby." He held the pen up to his eye and it let out a ray of light that made the skin covering her womb transparent.

"Is it ok? What happened?" Rose clung to the hand the Doctor gave her and waited, trying to stay patient.

"The baby is causing you to bleed inside, but that can be fixed. The only problem is there's a chance we might lose the baby." The Doctor shook his head, "But right now all the matters is keeping you alive. If I don't do this I might lose both of you."

"But, you want this baby," she started to cry, "I want this baby."

The Doctor shook his head again, and gave her some water and a sleeping pill. Take this. It's something that will calm you down while I operate."

Rose took the pill and swallowed it without the water, frantically trying to get it over with. She laid back.

"Get going!" She nodded as he checked to see if she was ok. "I'm fine!"

The Doctor bit his lip and started. He held a scissor-like object that Rose thought he'd cut her with, but as he opened the blades, she saw that a hole appeared in her skin and

Womb, revealing the tiny foetus. The Doctor put on some thick gloves and began a long procedure. He started by finding out where the problem lay. This took him ten crucial minutes, and when he checked Rose's vitals (that the Tardis automatically took once they entered the room) he found she was starting to waiver.

"Stay awake, Rose. Talk to me." He spoke reassuringly to her while still fixing her inside. "Have you got any names?"

Rose blinked a lot, but managed to stay awake and alive. "I was thinking, for a boy, Darcy. What does it mean?" She began drifting off.

"No, stay with me Rose! It means 'dark'. Any other ideas?"

"What about David or Daniel?"

"David. It means 'beloved one'... I like it. What about for a girl?" He fiddled gently with her innards, desperately trying to keep her alive.

"Kacey?"

"No! It means 'Eagle-Eyed'!" The Doctor could show distain no matter what he was doing.

"Fine. What about Kayla?"

"What is it with you? All the boys' names are 'D's' and all the girls are 'K's'!" He lifted up his head to get a look at her, but saw her nearing death.

He recognised the alarm signalling death on board, and closed up the hole by shutting the scissors. He ripped off the gloves and brushed Rose's face. The CPR he had learnt was for trollds, and he didn't know if it would work with humans, but he gave it a go.

She gasped a breath as she was revived, but was immediately clutching at her painful stomach.

"Fix it, Doctor!"

He was back down there, opening her up and doing all sorts of other things to her organs.

Rose yelled out. The pill he'd given her had worn off, and she could feel his fingers rummaging around her body. Unlike the time he'd gotten her pregnant, this time it was inside her body.

The Doctor was so busy trying to stop the bleeding inside her, that he didn't notice her fainting. The Tardis did.

* * *

Rose woke up. She was inside a white room that made it feel like she was standing in air. There was nobody else there. 

"_Hello_," a voice said out of nowhere.

"Who's that?" Rose yelled out, but found her voice was not heard.

"_If you wish to communicate, simply think what you want to say, Rose Tyler_." The voice was now in her head, ready for her thoughts.

'_Ok. Who are you, and how do you know my name_?" Rose was getting freaked out by this weird way of 'talking', and she stood rather awkwardly in the middle of wherever she was.

"_I am the Tardis. I have been watching you live and breathe. You are the Doctor's one true mate." _The voice was now right next to Rose, and when she looked, she saw a cloaked figure.

It had a white light face with no obvious features, but took the obvious form of a humanoid.

"_Follow me._" She pointed to a small black dot that appeared on the horizon of the room.

Rose opened her mouth. Was she dead?

**Oooh! Exciting! I'm just as intreigued as you are... okay, maybe not, but if you don't review there may be death in the future.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - SUSPENCE! tee hee.**

"Rose?" The Doctor looked up once he'd finished the procedure to check everything had gone well.

She lay there doing nothing. His eyes widened. She was incredibly pale and looked... dead.

He rushed to her side, grabbing her hand and checking for a pulse.

"Get up, Rose!" He yelled. When she didn't react, he figured tough love wouldn't work.

He still couldn't find the pulse; tears were welling in his eyes as he realised he'd lost Rose.

"You can't leave me like this! You just can't!" This time he was actually crying, something that rarely happened. "You love me. I love you!"

Still, nothing changed. The Doctor fell to the floor in a bawling heap.

* * *

'_I'm not dead, am I?_' Rose questioned the figure.

"_No. Think about it; why would I bring you here to tell you that you were the Doctor's one true mate if you were dead? I'm not that cruel!_" She smiled.

Although she had no face, Rose could tell she was smiling… it was like she was sending out a mental signal.

'_So, why have you brought me here?_' Rose questioned.

"_Simply because you and the Doctor need help. When you die, you're gone for good. When he dies, he lives through, but he'd be heart-broken. So; I'm giving you a wedding gift. You now have the same amount of resurrections as the Doctor!_" She disappeared suddenly, leaving Rose gawping.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Rose's voice. It seemed impossible… yet…

The Doctor sat up, and slowly edged his way to the bed. There, Rose sat looking tired.

"You're alive! How?"

"Well, apparently I was never dead… the Tardis says 'hi', by the way."

The Doctor opened his mouth in awe. "You must be my 'one true mate'!"

"Yeah," Rose paused, "Don't say it like that, it makes us sound like animals."

He widened his eyes seductively, "Maybe we are!"

Rose thought back to their first night, and then remembered what had come of it.

"Is the baby alright?"

The Doctor sighed, with relief, "Yes."

Rose giggled, "And… did you see him or her while you were looking around?"

"I saw **him**…" The Doctor grinned.

"It's a boy? David?" The Doctor could hear Rose's voice go very high pitched, "Why does my voice sound like I'm on helium?"

The Doctor bit his lip. "One of the time-lord pregnancy things… hee."

**Sorry about the really short chapter, but it just mean the birth gets all the more close..erer. Or... not? Read and review if you want to find out please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Rose and the Doctor walked down the street holding hands.

"So..." Rose looked over to him, "When am I gonna have this baby?"

Her voice wasn't high pitched any more, but she had grown a beard.

"We'll know it's coming soon when your beard stops growing back. Oh, and you'll also double in size and go grey... like and elephant."

"What?! I..." She looked up at his smug face. "You're joking again. Trust me to fall for it."

The Doctor giggled and squeezed her hand. He hadn't let her do anything exciting since the problem had occurred, so walking down a deserted beach in Devon was a huge step.

"Watch it, you'll fall!" As soon as Rose let go of his hand, he started panicking.

She laughed, and he realised he had to let her relax.

"Right. That's it!" He ran after her as she headed towards the water. "You're for it!"

Rose was barely able to waddle, so it didn't take him long to catch up.

"Where are you taking me?" she laughed, pretending to struggle.

"We, young lady, are going skinny dipping!"

"In this cold water? Why, I'll catch my death!" They'd both put on posh accents by this point.

"Yes, indeed." The Doctor kissed her as they walked to the water.

"Go on then, Doctor. Strip." Rose stood back and watched as he attempted a seductive strip-tease. Rose giggled, "That's completely rubbish."

The Doctor shrugged and nodded towards her. "Your turn."

Rose laughed as she watched the Doctor shiver in the nude, then quickly ripped off her clothes. As they looked each other up and down, they remembered why Rose was pregnant, and Rose headed off into the cold ocean.

"Come on…" she called, barely able to speak with the shivers running through her body.

"D'ya want that water warmed up a bit?" He pointed the sonic screwdriver at the water around her without needing an answer.

"O-oh!" She giggled as the water around her heated up. "It feels like somebody's done a wee in here."

The Doctor smiled as he walked in. They splashed about a bit, and then Rose went off for a swim. The warm water followed her, so the Doctor had to as well if he didn't want to get hypothermia.

He heard Rose singing a bit off, so he was surprised to see a pained face as he approached her.

"What is it?" he asked casually, but really he was scared.

"My beard fell out. My lump hurts. David's coming." The Doctor half smiled and half grimaced at this remark.

He spoke to her calmly, "Right. Water-birth it is, then."

"Anyway," Jackie continued, "She's pregnant."

"What?" Her friends gathered round her in anticipation.

"Yep. That pervert Doctor of her's got her knocked up!"

"Really? But he'd, like, 40?"

"Oh, no. Not that one. The one that got her pregnant is about 25-30." Jackie remembered that they didn't know he was an alien.

After a few more rounds of tea and other gossip topics coming and going, the remainder of Jackie's friends left. She found herself alone.

"Bloody 'Time-Lord betting Rose pregnant," she muttered to herself, but as she went into the kitchen she saw the repercussions of this mutter.

"Are you the mother of the women pregnant with the Doctor's baby? The Time-Lord/Human hybrid?" It hissed.

Jackie let out a blood-curdling scream and the creature rolled its eyes.

"Yes, we all know; I'm a scary being with green eyes! Eew!" It shook its head. "Get over it! Are you?"

"Y-yes." Jackie was on her knees in terror.

"Right," it began, "Follow me. You're coming with us."

"No I'm not." Jackie, despite saying this, still followed her. "Why?"

"Oh, we're just gonna keep you hostage for a while and ransom you for the baby. No biggy." The monster – Jackie could tell it was a girl – led her away.

Jackie nodded, under some sort of spell. "Oh. Ok, then."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Will the baby be born in this chapter, or will I annoy Rixxispooks even further by extending the wait? Decisions…**

"What about sharks?" Rose persisted.

"In Devon? Nope." The Doctor continued preparing for his son's arrival.

"Jellyfish? Floating spaghetti bolognaise? Bacteria?" She paused. "What if I drown?" She added solemnly.

"It's not my fault! You're the one who started it by having those … cough… darn contractions." He barely looked at her while getting ready or Rose to push.

"The baby's not been born yet, Doctor, you can swear." Rose spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh, buggar!" He replied.

"That's more like it."

"No, I mean, oh," he spoke while pointing at a green glow in the sky not far from above them, "… buggar."

Rose caught sight of this. "What the hell…?"

The Doctor blurted out a series of facts. "Only three alien ships give out that sort of glow; Geofrodians, Jiggamaloes and Raxocoricofallapatorians. And, from that list, only one gives off that noise. And it's not the Geofrodians or the Jiggamaloes. Therefore, we can deduct – from the fact Raxocoricofallapatorians have DNA tracking device – that they are currently holding your mother, hoping to kidnap our child."

Rose was still gawping at the pretty lights, but on hearing her mother was most likely on board, she groaned. "Those poor, green… things. Silly twits don't know what they've got themselves into."

The Doctor nodded sadly.

"Arrrgh!" Rose yelled out. "Bloody hell, this hurts!"

"Oh, yeah," the Doctor added casually, "Apparently Time-Lord labour is ten times more painful than human; but, on the bright side, it only lasts a third of the time."

Rose looked annoyed. "Well, then, I've changed my mind."

The Doctor turned to her. "About what?"

"I'm not having you baby any more."

"Um…" The Doctor motioned to the bump in front of her. "Slightly too late!"

"Well…" she began.

Immediately, the Doctor put his hand up rudely to shut her up and pointed to the ship above them. It was circling randomly.

"It probably can't pinpoint our exact location with all the water," he whispered, "So, there's another reason to have a water birth."

Rose rolled her eyes.

* * *

It had been two hours since Rose's beard had fallen out, and the Doctor had just spotted the head after Rose's first push.

"Keep going," he cheered, "Come o-on David!"

The ship had given up the circling and was landing on a nearby cliff. It was lucky; because with the constant noise and green glow, accompanied by Rose's hormones, she was getting close to jumping out of the water and… well, let's just say it would have been painful.

Rose shivered with pain and excitement.

"Right, here we go, Rose. Another push…" He screwed up his face as though he were the one pushing.

"Is everything alright?" Rose asked desperately.

His screwed up face turned to awe-struck.

"Everything," he said holding up what was clearly a boy, "Is perfect!"

Rose felt so relaxed after doing all that hard work that she ducked under the water and took in a couple of lungfuls of it.

"Plaugh!" Rose spat it back out and gasped for oxygen, still in shock that she was a mother.

"Here he is…" The Doctor held his child proudly into the air.

"Don't do that, he'll get cold!" Rose snatched the drenched child from his grasp, hoping to never have to let go. "David. Hey, baby."

The Doctor put his arm around Rose and they admired the gurgling infant.

"Now," the Doctor began, saddened by the fact he had to stop the magical moment, "We've got to sort this problem out."

They simultaneously turned to the cliff that the aliens had landed on.

"We have three options. One: we go out to meet them and possibly exchange David for your mother. Two: we swim away and get out of the water further down, leaving your mother to die." He paused.

"And the third one?" Rose asked in anticipation.

"I didn't have one; I was hoping you'd go for the second…"

"Doctor!"

"Ok, ok… And three: we swim ashore, get to the Tardis and somehow save your damn mother." He pouted angrily as Rose passed him David and swam off. "Hey, you want to save Jackie… why can't you carry the urchin?"

* * *

The family of – now – three huddled under the warm blanket, attempting to pull on there clothes. Of course, David needed help from Rose to pull on is sweet little body warmer and pooh bear hat.

"Oh. My. God." Rose stated after looking at the Tardis screen that showed the Raxocoricofallapatorians landing site.

"Hey, it's like Janice from…" Before he could finish Rose interrupted him.

"Don't say Friends!"

"…from…" taking his inspiration from his son's hat, he ended his sentence, "… Winnie the Pooh!"

Rose turned back to the screen. "Look how many of them are out there!"

"Generally they come in groups of at least twenty; unlike the Slitheen."

"Loners."

"Y'up."

"So, how we gonna save mum?"

"_We're_ not. _I_ am." The Doctor looked shocked when Rose suggested she would be leaving her baby. "You have to stay here and look after David."

Wait a minute! How comes you get to go?" Rose placed her free hand on her hip.

"Because I know more about Raxocoricofallapatorians than you do."

"Do not!"

"Yes I do. _Spell_ Raxocoricofallapatorius," he challenged her.

"Okay. R-A-X-A…" she spoke with confidence.

"Wrong already," he laughed.

"R-A-X-O-C-O-R-I-C-A…"

"Wrong again," he sang as he walked out the doors.

* * *

Rose had fed David and put him to bed over two hours ago, and she was starting to worry about the Doctor.

Maybe I should go and help, she thought to herself.

At that exact moment, Jackie and the Doctor came bursting through the doors.

"That was so funny! Where did you learn to do that?" she asked him.

"A far away planet with some very friendly, very large chipmunks," came the Doctor's reply.

"What happened?" Rose jumped to greet them, intrigued as to what they were talking about.

"Oh, you see that green monster with the thing on his head grabbed this thing, and the Doctor said 'Spuds'!" The Doctor and Jackie both burst out laughing.

On seeing Rose's face, the Doctor added, "You had to be there."

Rose grunted and went to check on David, followed shortly by Jackie.

"Oh, Yeah! You got her up the buff, didn't cha'!" She turned around a punched the Doctor in the face.

Rose giggled as he stood back up and rubbed his nose with his long fingers.

"That hurt," he whined.

Ignoring him, the women leant over the cot.

"He's gorgeous!" Jackie yelled. "Can I hold him?"

She rocked him gently as he was placed in her arms.

"What's his name?" She asked, not taking her eyes off his round face.

"David." Rose smiled.

"Poor bastard, having him for a dad…" she muttered.

"Actually, he's not a bastard." Rose held the Doctors hand briefly, before he had the intelligence to exit the room.

"WHAT? You got married?!" She followed him out.

"Don't punch me!" the Doctor begged as he ran off down the corridor to avoid Jackie's clenched fist.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 1 – This chapter is set thirteen years later. READ AND REVIEW!!! Giggle.**

"Mum-my?" David whined.

"Yes, sweetie?" Rose didn't look up from the concoction of spices and ingredients she had surrounding her.

"Will you buy me that giant spaghetti hoop?" he continued.

"You mean the one with the rainbow stripes…" Rose got up looking excited.

"Yeah!"

"And the hoop that spins around it, meaning it looks like it's constantly moving…" she laughed with joy.

"Yeah!"

"And, dare I say it, all that for a mere five thousand cromites?" Rose was now opposite David, holding his hand.

"Yes!"

Rose sat back down, "No."

"Ooh, why not?" David sat down next to his mum.

They were in the kitchen, one of the Tardis' many rooms, preparing for the Doctor's arrival back with dinner; a feast of fish and chips. The spices and ingredients were for a herbal tea to get the three of to sleep. Around the pair, there were pots and pans of every shape and size, including one made especially for lobster, in the shape of a lobster.

David had been in this room so many times, he'd gotten used to a kitchen like this, meaning a normal kitchen in the future was out of the question.

"Because I said so! Not only got it do some damage to the old girl," she patted the Tardis wall, "but, you have money of your own. If you want to buy it, that's what your pocket money's for!"

David stood up, huffed a bit, and stormed off to await his father.

"_I'm not that old…_" came a familiar voice in Rose's head.

* * *

"Dad!" David rushed up to his father for a hug, nearly knocking the fish and chips out of his hand.

"Woh, big fella! Slow down." The Doctor placed the bag of food on the dining table ready for dinner, and the turned back to his son. "Right, give us a cuddle!"

The father and son embraced for a few moments, before David pulled away and made a sweet face.

The Doctor sighed. "I knew that was too warm a welcome… what do you want?"

David bit his lip, then blurted out, "The spaghetti hoop 3000… please."

The Doctor shrugged as Rose entered the room, "Yeah, sure."

"Did you just promise him that ridiculous hoop thing?" she questioned.

"Y'up… why?" he answered.

"Because young sir, here," she pinched his ear as he tried to escape, "Tried to get one out of me, and I've already said no."

"Well…" the Doctor pulled a chip out of the bag, "Chips anyone?"

* * *

_Five hours later._

David looked around. He was in a room full of memorabilia of himself. His first stuffed toy; his plaster cast for when he broke his arm; his only ever text book; and many other things that were all related to him in some way.

"Hello?" he asked.

A voice came from behind him.

"Grab him. Don't kill him, though… yet."

A shadow approached him with a knife that he soon place at his neck. David looked up to see who it was.

It was his father.

* * *

_Four hours earlier._

Once the plates had been put cleanly away, Rose had an early night and David and the Doctor went into the TARDIS' console room.

"Right… lesson 78; how to use the handbrake." The Doctor moved around the controls and his hand landed on a lever that had five different buttons on it. "This button is to stay still. It sounds strange but the old girl had been known to… wander."

"Dad," David quickly butted in and gestured towards the corridor where gentle snores drifted from his parent's bedroom, "She's already asleep."

"Boy, was she tired?" He scratched his head so that his hair was splayed all over the place.

David nodded, "She went shopping."

The Doctor grinned. "Well then."

The pair sneaked out of the room and down to the entertainment room where a pool table was readily laid out, and the DVD player was all set for them to watch 'Friends'. They closed the soundproof door and started both the game and the DVD simultaneously.

After a few shots, David turned to his dad. "Why exactly do we have to watch this show in privacy?"

The Doctor shook his head in shame. "Let's just say that while your mother was pregnant with you, I sort of ended bringing it up a few times. She forbade me from ever thinking of it again."

David gasped in horror and all the Doctor could do was nod sadly. They watched ten whole episodes of series 3 and then decided they ought to go to bed.

"Lucky you figured out how to fly the TARDIS years ago, or these 'lessons' would never take place." The Doctor turned off the home cinema system and left his son to tidy up, while yawning himself to his bedroom.

David found himself alone in the now dark room. He was so tired that he lay down on the nearest sofa and drifted off.

Barely moments passed when he woke back up to the sound of a yell. Seconds later his dad came back in the room followed shortly by his mother.

"What is it?" He jumped up and walked over to them while they hurried to shut and lock the door.

His question was answered when thumps rang out from the other side of their only exit. By the sounds of it, whatever was there was something big, or they had a thing-a-me-blot which was used to bang onto it.

"What's going on?" David asked again, but this time it was for specifics.

The Doctor turned to Rose, "They're back."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – This is the longest story I've written so far! Anyway, sorry about the short chapter, but it's explained later.**

David watched as his parents carried anything and everything to block the door. Whatever it was that was on the other side of it sure seemed to scare them enough to forget about the other way in.

For a moment, David considered telling them, but his mouth wouldn't open. Curiosity got the better of him in this case; he looked down at his feet as they carried him through the door behind the screen the hid the numerous DVDs into a room filled with boats. His father told him that they were sailed on in the Mediterranean Sea the day before it evaporated.

David stopped as the door shut behind him. He'd thought that he could simply have a peek as to what was out there, but only now had he remembered the complicated System of Emergency Automatic Lock (or the SEAL, as he Doctor called it) that the Tardis had in emergencies; you could only go through a door once.

He desperately stood there, gawping at the closed door, in horror. How could he have been so stupid? Before he could come up with an answer for himself, his feet were moving again, but this time it was obvious he had no control…

Normal David would have gone up to the door and used the intercom to get his parents to let him back in, but now his feet led him to the console room. What was going on?

David glared at his feet, and used all the power he could conjure to lunge himself at the nearest chair so that he tumbled onto his head. His legs continued to move as though he were walking.

"What the hell?" He shouted loudly in anger and slapped his legs so that it hurt. "Ooww! Ok, so I can still feel them." He talked just as loudly to himself.

Trudging noises came from the corridor, along with the occasional fart. What on earth was that?

"He's this way!" The moving, farting… things called to each other as they wandered mindlessly to the console room.

David rushed frantically to find somewhere to hide, and ended up under the flooring behind a flow of red cables that he knew to lead to the thing-a-me-bot.

The voices and farts turned out to be coming from a group of people; they looked like a family. There was a young girl, a boy and a woman. They all had blonde hair and, from what David could see, green eyes.

**Ok, it's really short. But, I have an excuse. Writer's block... well, it's the opposite. I have two different ideas and I can't decide what to write. There A and B. Please give me your idas and opinions.**

**Also, when reviewing this story, please use the word 'coolio'. I'm trying to promote it, so even if you dislike it, please say 'not coolio' and say it in other reviews as well. Spread the word... 'COOLIO'!!!**


	10. Chapter 9A

**Chapter 9A – Here's the more cynical idea to finish off the story.**

David watched as they waddled round – it was a strange way of walking, considering that they weren't in any way prone to waddling – and found a place to rest. The young boy found the chair and sat down. Moments later the woman and girl were on the floor next to him, each looking adoringly at him.

"Oh, Arkie, you ain't half looking down." The girl had the voice of a woman.

"Well," the boy called Arkie squirmed in his seat, "This thing is so uncomfortable, and there's barely any room!"

This sentence shocked David. The boy was barely half his size, and had plenty of room.

"I'm coming out!" he shouted.

David stopped himself from snorting. With the two adoring 'chicks' by his side, he had decided to become gay. Weird!

"Arkie, we ain't got time! We 'ave to find the boy; I 'eard the parents say he wandered off. The bloody twat!" The little girl got up and turned to the woman. "Don't you ever go wandering off like that."

The women smiled with the innocence of a child.

"I can't stand it!" The boy grabbed at his fringe and hoisted it up over his head, revealing a blue glowing zip.

David opened his mouth. He'd heard about these things that confined a large creature in small bodies, so that must be what this was! It explained the unusual family.

**This chapter leads on to basically have David captured. Please tell me what you think... REMEMBER COOLIO! Oh, and 9B should be up soon.**


	11. Chapter 9B

**Chapter 9B – Here's the nicer one. Please read and review!**

The girl grunted and David figured out that she was tied up. Her mouth was gagged and her arms were red from the constant rubbing of the ropes around her wrists.

"Shut up!" The boy turned to face her. "You are nothing. Worth nothing. We could kill you, but I haven't the time." He turned to the woman. "Keep her quiet."

The woman nodded and spoke. It wasn't the normal voice of a woman about twenty years old. It was deep and grumbly, leaving many questions to be answered.

"She's a fidget. We might as well kill her. Anyway, I'm hungry." The woman licked her lips. As she watched the girl's eyes widen.

"Ok, then." The boy shrugged and reached for his forehead, pulling back his fringe to reveal a blue glowing zip.

The girl frantically struggled and threw herself away from the blue glow. As she did so, the woman allowed her to, and exposed her similar zip at the top of her face.

David recalled a short lesson before one of his father's Friends fest. He'd told him of a time when his parents had met the awful Slitheen; a family exiled from Raxacoricofallipatorius.

The girl landed right next to the entrance to the under path. David considered leaving her, but the Doctor in him sent an urge through his body to be the hero.

He glanced back at the Slitheen. They were so preoccupied with revealing their true form that they wouldn't see him…

Before he knew what he was doing, the girl was sitting silently next to him after he'd dragged her under the grates. She was safe.

**David ends up being the hero, like his father. Sorry it took so long, it's just I wrote this and couldn't find it. Anyway, which do you like better? 9A or 9B?**


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